While wandering the local craft fair...

My sister and I spent a couple of nice, relaxing hours at a local craft fair a couple of weekends ago. Two years ago, having a booth at this fair started us both on our way to being professional handmade artisans. We enjoyed looking, and eating, and laughing, and remembering why we love making stuff and selling it to people who love what we make.

There were many beautiful things - not the least of which were the new paintings and prints by my favorite local artist, Temple Moore. There were a few things, however, that were unequivocably not good. Don't ever, ever, EVER do things like this. I love handmade, but THIS is crap.

These skirts are repurposed jeans on top, fleece on the bottom. FLEECE. Like, what you make blankets from.

There is just no way to explain this abomination, nor is there any way to excuse it. I thought when I saw it that I had no words, but obviously I do. Several. Some of them start with the letters W, T and F.

Next in line is this yard art. You can kill two birds with one well-aimed stone if you put this on your lawn. You can call yourself an Art Lover*, and at the same time, you can be accused of sacrilege by your neighbors!

I'm pretty sure that Santa Clause (or anyone else with a similar name) was NOT hanging around by the manger when Joseph and Mary's first child was born. I mean, I'm no biblical scholar, but... I was president of my church's youth group. So, you know... I know stuff.

I don't even go to church regularly, and I read athiest blogs, and I was still offended by this piece of dung. I didn't check the price. But if it wasn't free, it was too much. (hint: click the photo for the full offensive effect)

*not really.

Finally, we turn to the apparel that should not be worn when going to a craft fair. Or anywhere. Maybe in your own house... but only with the lights off.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen. This poor woman obviously had nothing but this to wear. I can only guess (hope) that all of her other clothes... the ones that didn't creep into her butt-crack and make her an immediate candidate for What Not to Wear... were burned in a house fire the day before. And all of her cash, checks and credit cards were lost as well, leaving her unable to shop for new clothes before the fair. That is the only explanation I can come up with.

But if I am right, then she should have kept her spandex-encased buttcheeks at home. Seriously, there was no need to subject anyone else - even the person who made that manger scene - to that. I would have even been okay with her wearing one of those WTF skirts if it meant I wouldn't have to see those pants... leggings? Tights? Shorts? What the hell are they??

I won't even get into the fanny/belly pack and shoes. I feel a little faint...